The First Moment I Knew I Loved You
by CountessCora
Summary: Robert's take on his first Christmas with Cora. When he least suspected, he discovers that he's in love with her.
1. Chapter 1

**The First Moment I Knew I Loved You**

_AN: The characters do not belong to me. This is from a prompt on tumblr from CobertFan1. I hope you enjoy it, thank you ever so much for your prompt. This is a companion piece to my story Hot Cocoa. In it, we see Cora's misery during the first Christmas season at Downton. This prompt allowed me to explore Robert's feelings at this time as he realizes something very important has changed within him._

Robert hated the melancholy expression so often found on Cora's face in the months following their marriage. He knew that he had pursued her for her money, but he also had a genuine fondness for the dark haired blue eyed girl who had elicited sparks in him as they'd danced at many balls during The Season. Even though his mother had hoped he would marry a British girl, Robert was becoming more happy with his choice every day, and it wasn't just because of the money, either.

However, he was terribly shy and the more Cora seemed forlorn, the more Robert wondered if she was so thoroughly unhappy with him or if there was another reason for her sadness. Was she that homesick for America, did she hate living at Downton or was she missing a beau at home? Robert knew that he was not nearly as outwardly expressive to Cora as he wanted to be, but he felt that it was a problem with no solution. Men weren't supposed to be superfluous with their affection. He doubted that even the American men who had wooed Cora before she came to England had been outspoken with their feelings.

As Christmas neared, they had been married almost four months. Cora's constant unhappiness was breaking his heart. The holidays were supposed to be a time of great joy, not tears. Christmas at Downton had always been a spectacular affair as long as Robert could remember. He and Rosamund both had joyous memories of beautifully decorated trees, the way the snow turned Downton into a winter wonderland and receiving lavish presents, the most precious of which was completely intangible. The siblings reveled in the extra time they got to spend with their parents at Christmas.  
Since Robert knew that he could not talk with his mother about his concerns over Cora, he turned to the one person whom he was sure could help.

"I think you're in love with her," Rosamund said after Robert confided in her at tea the next day.

"I wouldn't admit this to anyone else," Robert replied, "but you are quite right. How can I show her and not end up rejected? I don't see how she could possibly feel the same way for me. She married me for my title and I married her for her money. It's as simple as that for all outward appearances. But it's not that simple. Not really at all."

"I'm sure she's homesick," Rosamund. "What about getting her a gift that would remind her of home? Or you could do something that might make her feel less isolated. I don't know, maybe something that would remind her of her traditions in America?"

"Mama would never let me live it down," Robert said.

"If you're really in love with Cora, you'll find a way to make her happy and forget what Mama thinks. She'll never approve of Cora no matter what either you or Cora do. I'll help you if you need. When it comes to choosing the right gift, I'll be happy to accompany you to the shops. We should go to London." She took another sip of her tea. "It's getting so chilly, nothing makes one appreciate a hot drink more than a frigid afternoon."

"That's a marvelous idea! Thank you, Rosamund!" Robert felt more hopeful about the situation than he had in months.

"What idea?" Rosamund chuckled.

"Don't Americans drink hot cocoa?" Robert asked. "I can arrange for some of that! It might make her feel at home, mightn't it?"

"Yes, I believe it would," Rosamund grinned. "I'm happy to have helped."

"And can we go to London tomorrow?" He was eager like a little boy with his first crush.

"Yes, that would be nice. I need to do some shopping there anyway, and we can get you, little brother, on the path to a happier marriage."

The next day, Robert and Rosamund boarded the train for London and set off on their quest.

While looking at the display of beautiful pieces at the jeweler, Rosamund pulled her brother aside.

"You should get her a ruby," Rosamund suggested. "Cora looks very nice in red."

Robert felt his face blush as red as all the rubies in the case together as he remembered a nightdress Cora wore in that shade and how it made her look positively illuminated.

"I agree," he told Rosamund before turning to the jeweler and asking to be shown the selection of rubies. After some consideration and Rosamund's advice, he decided on a ruby pendant necklace.

Feeling buoyed by his first purchase, Robert followed Rosamund through the other shops where they found a shawl that matched the pendant.

"Cora would love this!" He smiled and decided to get it for her at once.

Upon returning to Downton, Robert saw that Cora looked as lonely as ever. Suddenly even more shy following the revelation that he was now very much in love with her, Robert was tongue tied but managed a single sentence.

"How are you this evening, Cora?"

She looked at him with her sad eyes. "I'm well, thank you for asking." Then she went back into the library and stared out the window at the falling snow.

Robert was undaunted by her chilly reception to his conversation. He went downstairs and found Beryl, the new kitchen maid and asked her a favor.

"Do you have the ingredients necessary for what Americans call hot cocoa?" He asked softly, not wanting anyone to overhear. This had to be a surprise.

"We do, milord," Beryl said cheerfully. She lowered her voice to maintain his secrecy. "Are you thinking of a surprise for your new bride?"

"I am," Robert confided. "Would it be too soon to serve it in about an hour? I have other surprises to tend to before I'd be ready for it."

"Anytime is good, milord. Just ring for it and I'll have it ready." Beryl smiled at the thought of the lonely girl upstairs getting a special surprise.

"Thank you!" Robert smiled as he ascended the stairs and went to his dressing room to prepare Cora's other surprises. He was truly in love! Surely more attention and affection could win her over!

He approached the library and Cora nearly jumped a foot upon realizing that she was no longer alone. Robert apologized and she accepted it, and they sat down on opposite sofas. An awkward silence filled the room.

"It was my wish that you'd be happy here, Cora."

"I'm sorry," Cora said. "I just miss home and... It's not just one thing, it's so many things."

"I am hoping that I can be of some help in that regard," Robert continued, chastising himself for sounding so formal when he was talking to the woman with whom he had fallen in love. "Happy Early Christmas, Cora. I have some gifts for you. He explained how Rosamund had helped him due to her impeccable taste."

As Cora marveled over how lovely the gifts were, Robert didn't as much hear her words but watched a new sparkle form in her eyes, actual happiness. Inside, he felt nearly giddy with his success. When he fastened the necklace for her, his fingers brushed her warm skin and he felt a tingle run through him from his head to his toes. This must be what it feels like to be in love, he thought.

Next was the other surprise about which he'd spoken to Beryl. When Robert rang the bell. Carson carried in a tray containing hot cocoa for two. "I believe you Americans enjoy hot cocoa at this time of the year?"

At the sight of the hot cocoa, Cora's eyes sparkled even more and she started to talk to him - actually _talk_ to him - about her fond memories of Christmas in America and going ice skating with her brother Harold. Robert could not believe how beautiful she was as she smiled and recounted happy things. It wasn't as if she wasn't beautiful when in a somber mood, but the beauty of this chatty, animated Cora eclipsed all other.

Before they parted, Robert gave Cora what might have been their first real kiss, a tender gesture that told her that he understood and wanted to make things better for her.

The next day, they went ice skating together on a nearby pond. Robert had confided in Cora that he hadn't stated in a long time, but she was enthusiastic to help him learn again. It was mostly successful, but every now and then, they fell to the ice in a joyful heap of arms and legs and skates. It was in these moments that Robert and Cora enjoyed their second, third and fourth real kisses of their marriage, and many more once they returned to the house.

The End


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

_AN: the characters do not belong to me. _

After the ice skating, Cora looked at Robert in a new way. Being together in the intimate sense had been wonderful, but her doubts returned as the daylight dawned the next morning. She was still alone in bed, as Robert had felt the perfunctory need to return to his own dressing room as soon as the fun was over, leaving her once more by herself. She knew from this strange contradiction that making love did not necessarily mean being in love. The fact that he understood her loneliness and wanted to make it better did soothe her heart and warm her emotions toward him.

Why did this disturb her so? It couldn't be that she loved her new husband, could it? Surely not with such a marriage that was a business arrangement!

Cora wished she had a sister or even a friend with whom she could talk about the things, but she had no sister and her friends were thousands of miles away. She sighed as she climbed out of bed and sat down at her vanity to await the arrival of Harrison, her ladies' maid, with breakfast. All of the worrying made her restless, so she stood up and paced around the room.

Her eyes fell upon the ruby pendant and a faint smile came to her lips despite the other things she'd been thinking. It was a lovely gift, and the way Robert's hands had felt as he fastened it had been nice. No, more than nice. Exciting, a little enlivening. Was it mere physical attraction? Or was it the beginning of more?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Cora was puzzled because Harrison always announced herself.

"Cora? It's Robert. May I come in, please?"

She opened the door and there stood Robert, dressed for the day and looking as sharp as ever. Cora blushed as she realized she was still in her robe, having not rung for Harrison yet.

"You look beautiful," Robert said, as if able to read her thoughts. "Don't be bashful. How did you sleep last night?"

"Quite well," she answered, a coy smile playing upon her lips. "Ice skating, as well as other things, can really be exhausting!"

"That's why I am here, to ask if you would like to take me out skating again today. Mama is getting ready for the Christmas party and I'm afraid I'd just be underfoot," he explained. "But maybe there are more fun things to do than watch her fight with Papa over the guest list."

"I'm certain there are," Cora said, trying to keep her mind off some of the more fun parts of the previous night. "So, skating? I'd love to, what about after luncheon?"

"That would be marvelous!" His eyes lingered on hers for a longer time than they ever had before. "Well, I'll leave you to your morning preparations, Cora. Thank you."

Cora felt happy and light as she rang for Harrison, who noticed the change in her lady's demeanor.

"Don't mind my saying so, but you seem happier this morning and it's a welcome sight!" Harrison exclaimed.

"Oh, Harrison, Robert is beginning to care for me," Cora said. "At least I think he is." She recounted the fun they'd had on the ice, sparing the details of what happened after, but included his skating invitation for later that day. "And I think I, beginning to view him as more than a business arrangement," Cora confided.

"That's great, milady!" Harrison was thoroughly pleased. "I think he does love you," she said softly.

"Is it wrong to hope he does? Because I think I might feel something like that for him. I'm not sure. I've never really been in love before. I had beaux in America, but we were never too serious because my mother had been planning to bring me here for quite some time. I'm certain if there had been any real prospects for me in Cincinnati, she would have made sure they never approached a marriage proposal."

Harrison nodded, listening politely.

"But the most amazing thing of all," Cora continued softly, "is that when I met Robert, I believed at last in love at first sight. His gentle ways, even his shyness is adorable. But I don't know if he'll ever look at me without seeing a means to an end."

"Give him time, milady," Harrison advised. "All will be well in the end. I truly believe he loves you, and love will win out."

"I do hope so, Harrison." Cora sighed as she stared at her reflection. Could he be falling in love with her?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_AN: the characters do not belong to me. This concluding chapter is a bit longer than the others but I decided to keep it in one segment. Hope you enjoy! _

Robert could not believe his good luck after Cora agreed to go ice skating with him for the second day on a row. He whistled happily as he walked down the hall from her room.

His mother, taking a break from overseeing every preparation for the Christmas party, gave him a strange look once he reached the library to read the newspaper.

"Why are you so cheerful, Robert?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know, Mama," he answered because he knew that the mention of Cora would surely start an unpleasant exchange, which he did not want to spoil his day. "It's just a nice morning."

"A nice morning?" Violet echoed. "How strange. I find it a very stressful morning with everything going on here and me not knowing if it's being done in either a competent or efficient manner."

"I'm certain you have it all under control, Mama," Robert reassured her. "It will be a lovely party, as it always has been."

"I do hope your American bride doesn't spoil things by doing or saying something embarrassing," Violet sighed.

Robert groaned. "Oh, Mama. It isn't as if Cora hasn't been amidst parties such as ours. I have no doubt that she has had much experience in Cincinnati."

"That's the trouble. We don't want it to resemble an American soirée, whatever goes on there I cannot imagine. Robert, your wife is all too free with saying exactly what is on her mind."

"You have no reason to worry, Mama." Robert folded his papers and set them aside. "Cora will be fine, and the sooner you realize that, the better things will be."

"I do hope something improves her mood," Violet said. "She's a very mopey girl."

Robert shook his head and left the room. There was no use arguing with his mother, and he would rather focus on spending time with Cora instead. His imagination ran rampant with wondering if she felt the same way about him, and if she didn't, how he might win her over.

The morning thankfully sped by and it was at long last time to go skating with Cora. She met him outside her dressing room with a grin.

"Ready to go?" Her voice sounded lighter than it had in months, and Robert felt a glow of satisfaction that he had been responsible for the change in Cora.

"I am," he replied, reaching for her hand.

She looked down and smiled at the unexpected gesture. "Let's go!"

The sun shone on the pond, making the ice glisten as they began to skate. Robert noticed that his balance on the blades had improved even from the previous night as his old skill was quickly coming back to him.

Cora noticed the change, too. "Very nice," she encouraged. "Have you been practicing in the middle of the night?" She teased. "Oh, that's right. Not possible. We were otherwise engaged during those hours," she giggled.

Robert beamed with pride in seeing a whole new side of Cora, his Cora, as he had started to think of her. His family's treatment of her created the sad Cora, but moments such as this turned her into a cheerful young woman with the playfulness of a schoolgirl. Yes, this was his Cora.

He skated further, looking back at her to see if she was impressed with his much smoother skating. For several minutes, she was laughing and smiling in encouragement of his efforts, but suddenly the smile was wiped from her face, replaced by a look of panic.

"Robert! Don't go out so close to the other edge! The ice might not be -"

Her words were interrupted by a sickening crack under his feet, and before he knew it, Robert had broken through the ice and was suddenly immersed in icy water. He clamored for the edge of the ice, his hands clawing desperately as everything started to play out in slow motion.

He saw Cora's mouth open in a scream that he could not hear a moment before she started skating toward him, pulling loose the scarf she was wearing around her neck.

"Cora, no! Don't fall in as well!" Robert found his voice as his fingers continued to slip.

"No, Robert, I know what to do," Cora said as she removed the scarf and shook it out to its full length.

"No!" He shrieked as he felt his body fall further into the water. "Don't put yourself at risk!"

"I can't lose you, Robert," Cora said as she lowered herself onto the stable portion of the ice. "I love you and I'm not leaving you out here to die!"

Despite the dire situation, Robert suddenly felt a huge weight lifting from his shoulders. She loved him!

"Here, grab this," Cora threw the scarf to her husband. He caught it and held on for dear life. Then she skated to the other side of the pond where the land was only a few feet away from where Robert had fallen. She looked around for something upon which to anchor the scarf. A small tree stood exactly the right length away, so she tied the scarf around its trunk and prayed for it not to break under the strain of Robert's weight.

"Now pull!" She called out to him.

Cora held her breath as the next moments transpired, but Robert immediately began to pull himself up until he was safely climbing back onto the land.

She exhaled and threw her arms around him.

"Oh, Robert, I can't believe what just happened! I can't lose you!"

He held her close and kissed her. "Thank you so much, my love, you saved my life."

"I'm just glad I was wearing this today," she looked at the scarf, now dripping with freezing water and sagging at the end that was tied to the tree. She loosened it and bunched it in her hands. "We have to get you inside right away."

The look on Violet's face was one of shock and disdain as she saw Robert, completely wet and obviously horribly cold, come into the house with Cora.

"What did that girl do to you?" Violet called after them as they ascended the stairs.

Cora turned to her mother-in-law and spoke abruptly for the first time since they had met.

"It's much more important that you send for the doctor," she said as she kept leading Robert up the stairs. "He must be dried off immediately, so I'm not stopping to argue or explain."

"I'll get you out of these clothes," Cora said as she started to remove his coat. "We don't have time to wait for your valet as you continue to freeze."

"Do you... Do you really love me, Cora?" His teeth were still chattering but he managed the words.

"Yes, I do," she blurted while continuing to remove the rest of the wet clothing. "I have for longer than I even knew."

"I know how that feels," Robert said shyly as he helped remove his shirt. .I have loved you in secret, as well. I wanted to say something but I didn't know if you felt the same. And if you didn't..."

Cora cupped Robert's face in her hands. "But I do love you. I always will."

They managed to get him into something warm and dry by the time the doctor arrived and found that Robert would be fine after his misfortune, as long as he stayed out of the cold for a few days.

Upon hearing this, Robert's face fell. "I wish I could go skating again," he said ruefully. "I was just getting my stride back."

The doctor laughed. "Just wait a few days." He turned to Cora. "I'm going to tell Lady Grantham that you saved her son's life with your quick thinking. Where did you learn to pull someone out of the ice like that?"

"Where I grew up in America, it snows a lot but the ice can be fragile," she replied. "Thank you, Doctor."

The doctor winked at her. "I'll be sure to tell the whole story. I recommend that the two of you rest a bit because it's been quite the afternoon for you both."

"We will," Cora assured him as he left the room, closing the door behind him.

Robert slumped on the bed, exhausted. "I'm still a little cold," he said.

"I think I can help with that," Cora smiled. She sat down next to him and snuggled up to him.

"Cora, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm a little too fatigued for a repeat of last night," Robert sighed.

"I'm not taking it the wrong way," she intoned. "I wasn't planning on that. Not after what you've been through on the ice. But I do want to keep you warm." She helped him into a reclining position and curled up beside him. "Just rest, Robert. And know that I love you."

"You're warm," he said, stroking her ebony hair. "Thank you. Cora, and know that I love you, too."

Within minutes, they were both contentedly asleep, spent from their day but full of hope for their future.

A few days later, Robert got his wish to go ice skating again. Once they came inside, both giddy and pleasantly dry, they capped it off with more fun of the indoor kind. The Christmas party went off without a hitch, and many of the guests told Violet how charming they found Cora and how impressed they were with her heroics on the ice. The Countess had to smile and agree, even if she didn't feel the same about Cora, still holding her in suspicion and disdain.

Besides knowing that Robert loved Cora as she loved him, the best part of what came after was that she and Robert started sharing a bed all night. It started once they woke up from their impromptu afternoon rest in a loving embrace on the day Robert fell through the ice. It all felt so very natural and right to both of them that they never wanted to sleep any other way.

The End


End file.
